No regrets

I was just reading a discussion over at Essential Baby asking: if you had your original wedding day again, what would you change? I can honestly say: not a thing.

We had a simple wedding, with only our nearest and dearest present (about 40 total).  It was on New Year’s Eve so it could just be the best party we ever staged!  I had no grand plans of a large-scale European wedding (despite the fact both of us are European) and I laughed, danced and drank with some wonderful people that night.

I find regret to be such a toxic emotion.  It eats away at you, ruining any chance of happiness while you’re wishing something was different.  I know this because there are many things in life I regret.  I wish I didn’t, because I lay awake at night stewing over them, but it’s part of my nature as a card-carrying member of Overthinkers Anonymous.

I regret not taking more care of my body.  I regret offering some land to a family member.  I regret not spending more time with my kids.  I regret the way I deal with every friendship in my life.

I don’t regret my wedding day though, not for a second.  That was a brilliant day.

Do you have any regrets?

The Organised Housewife
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Comments

  1. And from a completely unbiased perspective, I can say with utter, utter sincerity that your wedding was the most joyous and fun EVER! It was on the day, and it still holds No. 1 position.
    An Anonymous Gatecrasher

  2. I try not to live with regrets, and I have two marriages under my belt! But I don’t regret it because I have to think that I needed to do that to get to where I am now. I knew Sheridan in High school and I always regretted not going to visit him when he was Jackarooing in west Vic. Could we have gotten together then and save me from a bad marriage?. Who knows. What I do know is that we now have 3 gorgeous girls which I would not trade for a different history. I agree with the little regrets ie not spending more time with the kids (I am on the computer after all and not sitting with them talking about their day). And I am the same as you I regret how I deal with friendships, I think I could be a better friend, call more often etc. BUT I will drop everything if you need me and I don’t regret that. My motto “Try Everything”. Get your motorbike licence, swim with sharks….enjoy life.

  3. So the glib reference to your very, very happy day aside…. I’ve had an afternoon at my local Salon de Miracles to ponder the ‘No Regrets’ issue more thoroughly (this process was aided by the application of hair chemicals which worked their way through to my slumbering grey matter).
    Regret is counter-productive, as there’s no opportunity in life for a ‘do over’, and we must all admit that we learned more from our failures than from our successes, so I’m singing along (very badly) with Edith Piaf “Non, je ne regrette rien”.
    Shame, on the other hand – I think is very productive. When we think of occasions in which we’ve behaved in a scurrilous or cruel manner, and feel genuine remorse, accompanied by the steely determination that it will never happen again… well I think it’s very valuable. Our world is full of shameless people whose behaviour is shameful – think airhead celebrities prancing out of cars without their knickers, bullying shock-jocks, sexually predatory AFL players and cricketers just for starters – yet when they get caught out they brazenly face the press, and talk about being taken out of context, or they read out a prepared, half-assed apology for being drunk… They probably regret their actions, but I’d be a little more convinced of their plans for redemption if they appeared to feel even a little bit ashamed of themselves.

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