It’s ok to admit defeat

The day starts, she feels as if there’s a heavy weight on her shoulders.  Something is not quite right but she can’t put her finger on it.  Trying to shrug it off, she goes through the motions of the morning: breakfast, pack school bags, referee kids fighting, shower everybody, dress kids, feed pets, remember to pack file for meeting, referee kids fighting again, ferry kids to school and drive to work…the feeling is still there, whispering in her ear and she can’t seem to shake it off.  A feeling of dread and a feeling of failure.  In the middle of the night she often wakes with thoughts of all the things she should be doing swirling through her head.  This also makes the mornings harder…groundhog day. It all starts again.  Something’s gotta give!

There are times when you simply can’t see your way out of the hole.  You’ve buried yourself so deep in it, there seems no way to claw back to the surface and the sunshiny happiness of your life.

Something’s gotta give.

For me, it was a part of my business.  It was so scary to admit defeat.  To give in to the voices in my head telling me I was a failure and to shut down a core part of my income stream.  But the second I did it, the moment I decided to remove that element of my daily struggle, the weight on my shoulders began to lift.  I immediately felt lighter and happier.  Mr Handyman looked at me that evening with a quizzical look on his face and said (out of the blue) “We have our wife and mother back, don’t we?”  He could see it too.  The change was immediate.

It’s ok to admit defeat.  It’s ok to say we can’t do it all.  People say ‘just change your definition of having it all’ but the truth is, you simply can’t have it ALL.  By definition, you can’t.

What you can have is an incredibly fulfilled and balanced life.  You can be happy at work and happy at home.  You can ride over the speed bumps of life and survive the journey.  You can have wonderful relationships and enriching friendships.  You just need to admit defeat sometimes.

Look at the 80/20 rule and apply it to your life.  The 80/20 rule tells us that 80% of our time is taken up by 20% of our clients/friendships/activities.  It also says that 80% of our income/happiness/joy comes from 20% of our work/activities/friendships.  When I look at that, I found there are some things I’m doing that are eating up my time, but not giving me much in return.  Certain work, friendships, relationships.  I needed to do a stocktake of everything in my life and remove the elements that were sucking the life out of me and not really giving anything back.  I won’t lie – it was HARD.  It was also worth it.

I have admitted defeat and I’m now feeling the sunshine back on my face.  I see my smile reflected on my family’s faces and the tension seems to have left the room.

It was hard, but it was worth it.

If you ever feel things are getting too tough, please phone LifeLine.  It’s a wonderful supportive service manned by compassionate Australian’s who are there to listen 13 11 14
The Organised Housewife

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  1. Margaret Mila says:

    Knowing when to stop flogging a dead horse? That’s what I’d call winning. Good for you!

  2. I really enjoy this blog. The parallels with my life is freaky but probably a common occurrence. I often see my dark mood affecting my family as much as my sunny moods. I find exercise and some ‘me’ time helps alot. Me time being a hot bath, early night to bed to read and the like. Simple but highly effective little things.

  3. So true, and so hard to do. The only problem is I have trouble identifying the bit that is causing the “drag”. Hmm. Thanks for making me think.

    • It took me a long time to find what aspect of life/work was weighing me down. It took longer still to accept as it was such a large part of my business. It’s really a tough step, but well worth it if you can identify what it is.

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